CONSCIENCE

This was suffocating for her, so many things to do in life but not enough time to devote. She wasn’t dying, but her situation was even worse, she wasn’t living.

Seriously, the day she was selected for this position, she had no clue about the transformations that were ready to pull her out from herself. She never denied hard work and responsibilities, but this new role was making her mechanical. When she looked around her and almost everyone was feeling the same.  When she became the part of this organization she was happy, so happy to get associated with a globally renowned organization. Her dreams began to take shape; she began to enjoy every bit of her self-independence, but not for long. Soon, she started realizing that she was losing her original charm, and very soon she would stop recognizing herself if she didn’t step out of her cubicle. There was nothing wrong in her job, but she wasn’t meant to do that. She was surrounded by countless people who were on the same boat, but some were enjoying the ride by choice, some were learning to, since they had no choice, and those of the third kind were shouting at the top of their pitch, but still paddling. She hated the fact that she was in the third category.

It was neither the work that was draining her nor the peer pressure, but something else. It was the failure of her innocent heart to understand the people in the complexity of the empire that had imprisoned her and disconnection with her own soul. Her’s was free soul, one that couldn’t be chained.

Nobody could be blamed for this, it was her own choice. If only she had discovered herself earlier!  Her craving to write something, urge to paint every beautiful thing she came across, and restlessness to spend few hours of her day with herself. All of it started to fade away, and she could very easily feel that disconnection with God. To write, to paint, and that solitude, all were perhaps the medium for her to be attached to her God.  She realized that money, materialistic pleasures were the things she rejoiced, but not her necessity. The job that she was doing, even though she was good at it, but never been able to accept it with open heart inspite of every possible self-effort. That perhaps was the mistake she made, to conclude that being good at what you do underlines your passion for it. But no, such isn’t the case. She was tired of chasing just money and materialistic pleasures like people around her were. She decided to shield away from this addiction before it engulfs her and cut down the voice of her conscience forever.

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Several years have passed, she is now working as an  Associate Lecturer with a nationwide famous University.  She is enjoying every bit of her job. Finally! It was reading, earning knowledge and then sharing knowledge, that she always urged for. These days she is working hard, very hard to satisfy the queries of her students, to answer the questions of intellectuals she meets in global seminars and conferences that she visits all over the world .But she never feels drained out, even for a moment, that blood sucking numbness as she felt in her past. She found her way and the fear of being lost in the crowd finally vanished.

Sometimes, due to immaturity or whatsoever reason we frame up that money, fame, power, popularity etc. are the only means that are supposed to bring happiness in our lives. And of course they do bring to some people, but we blindly run in the same line without sparing a moment to connect with ourselves and listen to its voice. Every human being is different right from the birth whether it is physical appearance or the inner reflection, then how can our goals be the same. In the pursuit of life, the idea is to discover that gifted trait , and then nurture it throughout our life. Let the illusions of glamour not snatch away the charm that defines us.

Published by Tejasvita

Engineer (Profession ) # Explorer # Writer ( Articles & Short stories) # Art and literature lover

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