Childlike ….. Preserve it !

In the process of growing up from a Kid to a big man in this life, we gain so much. When we were kids we often think of the moments to grow up and enjoy a bit of our independence. But it does not come easy, we have to pay a heavy price for it by shading the layers of innocence and childlike qualities. I wonder that as a child we never strive for God’s blessings because it doesn’t matter whether he sanctions our actions or not. But as we start shading the layers of our inner childishness, we seek for divine intervention to prevent us from our own deeds and misdeeds. Generally, we keep asking him for something or prevent us from something, but as a child when we stood in front of divine there was nothing in the head, just us who were ready to absorb whatever thrown at us.  A child has faith beyond any reasoning and doubts, not only in divine but also in human. I have read somewhere that when you throw up a small kid in the air, he/she giggles, does not cry because he/she has the faith that the person standing down would hold him. But the same kid has to struggle to live without fear and with ultimate faith, once the brain starts capturing the outer noise. In this noise, the inner atmosphere of sensitivity and receptivity becomes fragile and cracks down. Fear and insecurity start building up. As a child we lived without any fear; even the fear of falling while taking the baby steps was not there. Every unsuccessful attempt as a child made us more delighted to strive for it. But now we need to learn those things again as a teaching; somewhere in the cycle of growth we lost many layers to embrace adulthood but, in those layers, we also lost our very true nature which is full of compassion, innocence, boundless joy and contentment. Now, we struggle to find the reasons to be happy and when we were children always reasons were created to make us unhappy for some time.

We cannot remain untouched by the external process, it does affect us with or without our willingness. But it is necessary to preserve that child within us that let us remain attached to our inner being without getting lost and misplaced. I believe that bonding is the most essential thing which will help us to dance through our lives.

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” WHERE DOES HAPPINESS LIES “

Mom… What do you want?

I don’t know dear, I am quite disturbed. I am not able to figure out what’s it about, but I am very much upset. I feel like leaving this crowd and go reside some place else for 10-15 days.

Mom! What are you talking about? Everything will be fine. You are worried about the wedding, aren’t you? Don’t worry brother will find his happiness. No need to stress yourself this much.Just look at you!

I just want to leave the place for a few days, but I’m worried who’ll take care of your Dad in my absence.

Mom! Please shut up!! Go for your yearly check up this time, you are delaying it unnecessarily.

I have no lust for these materialistic things, but still, I don’t know what’s turning me off…

Yes..that’s the problem. You get the correct point. You are a saint. Don’t know why? You are superb, smart, beautiful,intelligent and independent woman. We all love you so much. Daddy cares for you endlessly then what’s drawing you out.(Somewhere she could relate this scenario to herself, in spite of everything, she too sometimes felt as if should runaway from everything. Where? She hardly had an idea. But then, why she is worried when it’s her mother who is feeling the same? Sometimes she wishes to tell her mom that “It’s your life, you have devoted your every single second of your life thinking about us , now if you want to do anything just for you, then we have no right to stop you.”)                                             Mom…don’t worry, this time I will come home and take you to some of the good places wherever you want. Promise. Wait for a month.

Yes..yes..Don’t worry. I am Ok. Take care of yourself.

Bye Mom…

After few years…

How are you Mom???

I am very well. How are you???

I am very great. Everything is going well. How is Brother? Did you talk to him this morning?

Yes, he is perfectly fine. Enjoying the new role of his life. You know how attached to his children he is.

Yes, yes, of course I know. And How is Daddy ..good?? Thesis, books, seminars, conferences ..he must be as usual engaged with his daily routine – walk, paper, books, studies…But touch wood it’s good he is enjoying his own company unlike me. Mom? Are you there? What happened?

Life is strange. Everything is useless. When you need your loved ones most, they are not with you.

“Mom!”

Yes, I miss each one of you. But it’s fine. You people have your own lives. This is only life.

Mom! you are so well read, a professor, smart, one of the few person in the world who did almost everything in their life, they wished for. You did it against all the odds, and still you are so drained; why?

You will not understand…

Mom, please stop thinking about all of us every time. Just start giving time to yourself now. Please!

I am fine. Ok, listen daddy has talked to one family….

Stop! Stop! No! Please!

Why?

Mom. I don’t want that.

What do you want then??

Nothing, I just want to remain as I am.

But this is important in life dear.

For what? Society?

No! for us. We are not there with you, to take care of you.

Please… You people will be forever with me. So don’t say that. Ok? And if it’s anyone who has to go early it will be me.

Stop! Say something good.

Few months passed.

Mom!! It’s you who always start this.

But marriage is necessary dear!

Mom, I don’t know. I don’t know if I will ever be ready for it or not. As for now I am extremely happy. After sometime I will engage myself in something else.World is full of work and surprises. I will never be alone, don’t worry.

What’s your problem?

My problem is… I don’t want you all to go under the same stress. You know me very well, I will never be able to find my match. So chill, relax!

But, your daddy will retire in few years.

Then good! you take VRS and shift with me.We all will live together.

You are impossible.

No, I am very much possible and sensible. Ok, Ok, we will talk later. Take care.

Door rings…

Mummy! How are you? Where is daddy? Study room?

Yes of course….tea?

As usual you will put lots of milk in it.I will make it myself..wait!

No, I don’t like your black tea.

Mom… Come with me. there is no one to take care of you both.

But we are perfectly fine and I have 6 more years of my service.

How long do you wish to work?? (How dumb of she! it’s her passion, driving force of her life,How can she even think of it)

I am happy here. Here is our society, people know us over here.They have always been nice to us.

Ok fine! Don’t come.But I will never stop trying.

Year passed by..

Mom…how was your event? Rocking, right?

It was good.

You seem tired.

Yes, just exhausted. Body doesn’t support much..

Mom… Shall I say something? Please come to me.Do whatever you want to do over here.

Why you become so restless. I am fit and fine so is your daddy.And you know the climate is awesome over here.I won’t be able to find all this in your city.

Uff mom! Your mountains, hills, plants, garden, and your own handmade tea! You just keep putting down my idea because of all these things. I will have your tea daily..promise!

Beta!!

What?

Why are you turning my mother!

Means?

Means, relax dear.Life is like this only.You spend your entire life caring about the loved ones, never get the time to think about oneself. I am fit and healthy. I am enjoying this stage of life with your daddy. We will call you whenever we need you. You enjoy your beautiful life. We are just happy and content with it.

She understood that now its the time to let her mother give her own comfortable space to let her do things in her own way, detached from all the worries which she had shared with her daddy all these years.

She left her mother’s home after few days but content and happy. She was Content with the happiness which she found between her father and mother and the way they are leading their lives enjoying each other’s company and fulfilling every small dreams which was lost somewhere in the last several years. She smiled and flew towards her city but the memories which she captured in the last few days where enough to keep her calm and composed for the rest of her years in life. Continue reading